Saturday, January 14, 2012

Two things that annoy me: search engine optimisation and unnecessary origin stories

Jareth, aged 4
Psst, says the Guardian website's article about the Labyrinth prequel, want to read an article about DAVID BOWIE and LABYRINTH? Look, here's a picture of DAVID BOWIE in LABYRINTH just to prove to you that that's what the article is all about. See? Clicky clicky, all nice now...
Ha ha, it's not about David Bowie at all. It's about a graphic novel prequel to Labyrinth, which will "cover Jareth's past" and tell you all about how he's "pulled into the labyrinth for the first time." So, you're a sucker, first of all.
Second of all, I don't know about you, but I am sick to death of origin stories now. Everybody from Darth Vader to the women from Sex and the City apparently have an origin story worth mining for cash, and they all turn out to be humourless rubbish*. I'm done with it. I have no curiosity at all about how Jareth got into the labyrinth. He has always been there. I kind of assumed he built it. But I don't really care either way, because the important thing to remember about Jareth is that people only like him because he's David Bowie. If he's not David Bowie (and a graphic novel character is not the same as David Bowie) then he is just some creepy middle-aged dude who will go to great lengths to get with a teenage girl, and I'm not cool with that.
(Although, he's not as bad as a werewolf who falls in love with a baby, which is what happens in the most recent Twilight movie, I believe. I haven't really checked, it all sounds a bit too body horror for me.)
*Actually, I quite enjoyed the original Wicked, but that would spoil the flow of the post.
There, that's a nice zeitgeisty blog post for you. Hello, random googlers! Move along, nothing to see here.

2 comments:

Andrew Parksons said...

[Laughing out loud] I thought you were to explain more on why search engine optimization annoys you. But anyway, a werewolf falls in love with a baby in Twilight? Is she Bella’s daughter? Everybody’s been waiting for the last extension, so I guess you spoil that part, if I am not mistaken.

Andrew
iJobAsia.com - Search engine optimization packages

Elizabeth J. Neal said...

I kind of assumed he built it. But I don't really care One time seo either way, because the important thing to remember about Jareth is that people only like him because he's David Bowie.