Friday, April 18, 2008

I feel safer already

Good time moustache man Willie O'Dea has sent us all a handy bilingual, glossy handbook in the post. It tells us what to do if there is an emergency. It makes useful suggestions such as "do not use lifts". Thanks. I will be sure not to use the lifts IN MY HOUSE if there is an emergency. What makes this information doubly redundant is the fact that every lift in the country has a sign in it saying "in case of emergency, do not use lifts."

The booklet also has an entire page saying "it would be useful to learn first aid", and suggesting you call the St. John's Ambulance in order to do that. It does not teach you first aid, or even provide you with a money off coupon for a first-aid course.

Frankly, the Kleeneze catalogue that comes uninvited through the door several times a year is more welcome than this useless piece of junk mail on which who knows how many thousands of euro have been spent.

Essentially, instead of sending us an actual iodine tablet, this time round the government has sent us a note saying "you know what? You should get some iodine tablets."


Edited to add: in even greater tossery, they've even got radio ads telling us to watch out for these useless booklets coming through our doors. So that's more money fucked away, then.


Big Boss said...

I love the way the ads say to keep the booklet in a safe place for when we need it. I can just see me opening it if Sellafield explodes and reading "You should learn First Aid".

Alix said...

I think we got similar booklets through a few years back, with similar publicity to remind those who don't check their post to keep an eye out (who exactly is this? homeless people? the dead? children? pets?) and I diligently filed it away in the recycling, safe in the knowledge that it would be of more use there.

ian said...

I was disappointed that there was nothing in it about what to do if your house is surrounded by zombies. Other than learn first aid.